Stanford vs. Cal; Napa vs. Sonoma

It’s the annual Big Game, when Stanford takes on Cal, and the Bay Area looks up fleetingly from their iPhones and twitter accounts, puts down their fair-trade soy lattes, and sits in front of the tube, fair-trade micro-brew in hand, to watch these 2 colossi of college football battle it out on the gridiron.

Or something like that.

In the spirit of comparing the two schools on the eve of their big showdown, Inside-Sonoma will attempt a 4-way comparison, a smackdown between Stanford and UC Berkeley (Cal) and Napa and Sonoma.

Caged match. To the death.

Oski and the, uh, Tree

Round 1: Introduction

Stanford is known for being founded by a rich plutocrat who was one of the Big Four, men who built railroads and moved massive amounts of capital to build California.

Cal is known for being the home of the Free Speech Movement, and was founded by merging a public and private university. It is in the city of Berkeley, where rich plutocrats are anathema, at least in theory.

“Napa” is usually used to refer to the entire Napa Valley, which comprises most of the Napa Valley and American Canyon. There is much discussion about the difference between “Up Valley” and “Down Valley”. The city of Napa itself is undergoing a renaissance.

“Sonoma” refers to either the small town in the Sonoma Valley, or the Sonoma Valley, or the entire Sonoma County, which is the size of Rhode Island. The county has several valleys to Napa’s one- the Russian River, Dry Creek, Alexander, Sonoma, Green and Bennet are just one of many valleys. You can’t swing a cat in Sonoma County without it landing in another valley. There is much discussion about the difference between “West County” and the “Rest of You Who Live on the Grid.” There is also the coast, which at 50 miles long, means there is a lot of seafood and beachcombing to pair with your wine.

Round 2: Who rules the world

Stanford is noted for famous alums/profs like  Condoleeza Rice, Warren Christopher, Sergey Brin, Jerry Yang, and Larry Page. Page and Brin are the founders of Google, and as such could possibly control reality as we know it. Yang is the co-founder of Yahoo!, and could possibly control 20.2% or less of reality as we know it.

Larry Page - Stanford graduate

Cal is noted for famous alums/profs like Tom Anderson (MySpace), Gregory Peck, Jerry Brown, Earl Warren, and all those smarty-pants folks up at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.

Atticus Finch - Cal Graduate

Napa has the Culinary Institute of America, whose acronym is CIA. Yup. Need we say more?

Sonoma has the Bohemian Grove, which is so secret we can’t believe we are blogging about this, because no doubt the National Security Agency has already seen this, and they’re positioning a satellite over us right now like those Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

Round 3: Famous juvenile pranks

Stanford is known for having a rambunctious, oft obnoxious band that pulls tasteless stunts like mocking Jayne Mansfield, spotted owls, Catholics, Mormons, and any other carbon-based life form.

Cal is noted for tackling the Stanford Band during the “The Play.” While hardly a prank, it was a pretty sweet play.

Napa – Tasting fees up to $25

Sonoma – a group of Sonoma County vintners hijacked Richard Branson’s bus as it was headed to Napa, and brought him to taste Sonoma County wines. As he told the Wine Spectator:

I was in California promoting Virgin Atlantic’s inaugural flight to San Francisco and we took all our guests up to Napa, where the Sonoma County Wine Patrol “kidnapped” me. Two guys in a helicopter with fake submachine guns forced our bus down a dirt road and locked me up in a big shed, where naked ladies were jumping up and down in grape vats. I was forced to get in there and join them. They went to enormous lengths to convert us to their wines … and it worked! I’ve been sold on Sonoma ever since. They are definitely less stuffy.

This prank of course was a variation on the theme when Sonoma County vintners, wearing disguises, boarded the Napa Valley Wine train and poured their wines in the glasses of bewildered and bemused tourists.

Summary

Whether you are a Cal or a Stanford fan, a Napa aficionado or a Sonoma County insider, we’ll let you battle it out on your own.

In the comments section…