What wine to pair with legions of the undead? And how does one dress for dinner at the Apocalypse?
Worry not – Inside Sonoma, the ever vigilant watcher of trends resurrected and reanimated for easy online consumption- is here with what to drink this Halloween season. Or any season when one finds oneself surrounded by hordes of cadaverous ambulators and/or in-laws at your Halloween fete.
1) Zombie Zin. This wine, from Sonoma County winery Chateau Diana, is not, as the label may lead one to believe, made from the essence of brainless corpses, but rather from zinfandel, a grape which has very little tendency to anthropophagy under normal vintning.
A bit piquant on the finish…
Suggested pairing: Drink this while watching “The Walking Dead,” as you scream at Rick and Lori Grimes “keep a better eye on your kid!” Also, munch on something gooey and vein-ridden, like a stinky roquefort. Must eat… cheese…
2) Sin Zin. Another Zinfandel, this one from Alexander Valley Vineyards. Halloween may be a kids holiday, but don’t tell that to the legions of Halloween revelers who have that unique knack of taking any mundane costume and making it either obnoxious, offensive, or inappropriately risque.. You know who you are…
Quaff this when contemplating what will become of your eternity when all of your past actions are counted up with the great Parker Score in the sky. Worry not, as you can always have a death-bed conversion and crack open a Redemption Zin.
Pair it with some horribly decadent chocolate that you told your kids was already thrown out. Why not – clearly you’re going down that path anyway…
3) PoiZin. Another zinfandel. If the plains of Armageddon were an AVA, this would be its best known varietal. PoiZin is from Armida Wines in northern Sonoma County, and handily features a companion wine called “Antidote,” which is a dry white wine. When the scrum of zombies make their way into your zombie-proof room, and you’ve decided instead to run into the next safest place in the old-abandoned farmhouse, that being the root cellar, and all of sudden you discover that there are MORE zombies down there, and they attack you with a trowel, well, now might be a good time to try a bit of the old PoiZin you’ve been saving for Open That Bottle Night. Because, you know, it’s always a good night to open that special bottle. Pair it with a cuban cigar and some foie gras. Hey – might as well.
Finally, if you’re not quite ready to go so quietly into that good, zombie-infested night, you might as well be ready and stocked. Y2K will seem like a day at the Farmers Market in comparison to when the moon turns to blood and the dead rise. Best make your way to Sonoma County’s only year-round zombie-survival store, Plan B Survival Store, on Windsor’s Town Green (513 David Clayton Lane, Windsor, California, 707-837-5681 to speak to an as-yet undead assistant). Cleverly disguised as a survival store for any kind of natural disaster, zombie survivalists can stock up on matches, water purifiers, freeze-dried food and other life-and-death sundries.
Crack open the zinl! The water’s corked!
