The daily news-journal of the region, the Press-Democrat, recently ran a story with the headline: “Woman fights off cougars in Santa Rosa.” Without going into detail, because it may be more than 140 characters and I can no longer think in chunks larger than that, a very brave local woman convinced two cougars to leave her alone. She is awesome.
But the headline about cougars in wine country once again brings up what is now undeniably a trend*: older women who are looking for younger men.
Not being one who writes about salacious things merely to drive web traffic, or amuse myself, but also to pass time, I pose a question: where are the best bars in Sonoma County to meet cougars?
My thoughts on three:
1) Willi’s Wine Bar, Santa Rosa. This is a classy joint, populated entirely by classy people. It stands to reason that there might be some classy, mature women in this bar and restaurant who know a few things. Such as, how to pronounce “viognier” and how to order at a small plates restaurant. Cougars found here will be confident, have taste, and awesome wine collections.
2) Russian River Resort, “The Triple R,” Guerneville. I know – you wouldn’t think of finding a cougar here, and that’s exactly why she is there, in wait, ready to pounce. See, she came in with her guy friend, but she knew you might be stopping by. Cougars here will be adventurous, outdoorsy, and extremely patient. Extremely.
3) Red’s Recovery Room, Cotati. The fact that Tom Waits, Sonoma County resident and the Guy Who Changed My Life, references Red’s in “Filipino Box Spring Hog” only enhances this true wine country roadhouse. Up there in the pantheon of wine country dive bars (next to the Pink Elephant in Monte Rio, Ernie’s Tin Bar outside Petaluma and The Dirty Bird in Santa Rosa), cougars at Red’s might be a bit haggard and bit ruffled but brother, they will know how to shoot pool and can sing every lyric to every Journey song ever recorded. Also, if you offer to buy the next round, you’ll be out $12.75 or so.
Any others I forgot? Any better places? Do tell.
* “trend” being defined as “something covered by the San Francisco Chronicle that isn’t news.” This is roughly 98% of the news hole.
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One Trackback[...] The blog posts were abysmal. I take full credit for that since I wrote them. Highlights include several bad puns about cougars spotted in wine country, with some of you chiming in on good spots to view them. (There is a place in Healdsburg where [...]