Illuminati, Trilateral Commission Return to Wine Country

The BoHos are back!

Not to be confused with BoBos, who are all over the place in Northern California, or even lowercase bohemians, who are oft caught at non-corporate coffee shops sneering at those who order things by asking for a “venti” ; the BoHos are the members of the Bohemian Club, an exclusive men’s club based in San Francisco and which owns a fair chunk of coastal redwoods for their annual encampment.

While my invitation to the encampment is routinely lost in the mail, I am told by several sources that all sorts of unique things go on out there in the woods beyond Guerneville.

To wit:

• Bohemian Club members dance naked, pray to Moloch, and feast on the flesh of young children. Source: a guy on the internet.
• Bohemian Club members drink too much and talk a lot. Also, dirty jokes are told. Source: Neighbor kid who gets summer job there.
• Bohemian Club members plot world domination, monetary policy, and so many massive conspiracies that Dan Brown* himself can’t even write a bad novel about it. Source: guy on the internet; the neighbor kid.
• They put on a song and dance show in Monte Rio. Source: people in Monte Rio, the Press Democrat.

While I can’t address the first three issues, again owing to the unfortunate fact that my BoHo invite keeps getting misplaced, I can say for sure that the show in Monte Rio is a real whiz-bang, gee-whiz kind of affair. Jimmy Buffet has performed for the small town, further proof that the Parrotheads aren’t quite as benign as we think they are.

The variety show is July 23 at the Monte Rio Ampitheater. It benefits local charities, which is cool. Skull and Bones members get 10% off.

(Ok- I made that up.)

Now can I get an invitation?

* People, if you still think Dan Brown is a good writer, please please please go on Amazon and order Umberto Eco’s “Foucault’s Pendulum.” It’s like Brown’s other stories, but written for people who own library cards. That is, it’s way way better.