Inside Sonoma

No one will be in San Francisco this weekend.

The city that knows how will be emptied of Mission District hipsters and Pac Heights plutocrats. The steady buzz of tattoo guns will cease up and down Valencia.

And San Franciscans will be in one of two places:

1. Burning Man
2. Sonoma Wine Country Weekend

To help San Franciscans find the correct spot for their long weekend escape, Inside-Sonoma has put together this simple test: Are you a Burning Man “Burner” or a Wine Country Weekend “Weekender”?

You journey begins now.

Your idea of a good time is:

a. To hang out with a few thousand of your closest friends in loincloths in the desert. Also, see cool art.
b. Hang out with some close friends in the Russian River Valley. Also, eat cool food.

You think pink lace:

a. Is part of a matching ensemble with your Utilikilt and a Bedazzled vest that complements your belly-button ring.
b. Is none of your business, but if it was, it would be La Perla.

You are guided by:

a. Ten principles, including decommidification, gifting, radical self reliance, participation, immediacy and radical inclusion.
b. Thirteen AVAs, 60 local chefs, 150 wineries and a radical search for awesome wines.

When a friend says, “See you at the Playa” you immediately think:

a. “Dude, in Camp Chillax or Pan’s Garden?”
b. “Dude, in Cabo or Puerto?”

You think a “Burner” is someone who:

a. You will be hanging out with somewhere in Nevada.
b. Your brother-in-law hangs out with.

You think a “Weekender” is:

a. A meaningful relationship.
b. Someone who can almost fake pronouncing “viognier”.

So- how did you rate?

If you answered (a) to all of the above – awesome. Get your art car ready, dust off your fire poi and get thee to some BLM land somewhere out there by Reno! You’re heading to Burning Man.

Wait – did you get a ticket? If not, that’s ok, because you can join the folks below.

If you answered (b) to all of the above – nice! Find some comfy shoes, a sun hat, and think of something witty to say to Kate MacMurray and all those vintners and grapegrowers. You’re going to Wine Country Weekend! Make some room for the Burners who didn’t get tickets to the desert. Hey- they’re into gifting – share some wine!

Have a good weekend.